Most Awesome: Dumb Europeans video youtube

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DUMB ASS PEOPLE video

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You've got Blonde joke

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

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Game Of Intelligence joke

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

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Blonde at Football Game joke

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Another Chance joke

laughing cat

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.

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More Clean Dumb Blonde Jokes

Enjoy our collection of Clean Blonde Jokes

Horse Riding

One day a blonde decided to go horse back riding.

After a very long search, she finally found a horse she thought she could ride. Things started off well enough, slowly trotting along, but soon the undulations started going faster and faster.

Being unexperienced at horseback riding the blonde started to fall off. She tried everything, grabbing the mane, then she tried to grab the saddle, but could not hold on.

Seconds before falling off, the horse finally stopped, allowing her to get off, and gratefully thank the shopper for unplugging the mechanical horse as they were about to enter the department store.

Government Blonde

A blonde government supervisor called in a subordinate regarding his failure to complete his last task.

Blonde: Sam, I see you only converted 4 out of the 5 books I asked you to convert to Braille. As you know our state needs to make our publications available to everyone including the blind.

Sam: Yes, of course.

Blonde: So what happened with that fifth book?

Sam: You mean the automobile driving manual?

Blind Man

A blink man enters a lady's bar by mistake. Finding his way to the bar, he orders a drink. After a few drinks he yells, "Does anybody want to hear a blonde joke?"

The place gets silent. Then a woman with a deep, husky voice sitting to the right of the man says, "Sir, since you are blind, I think it is only fair to let you know that

1. The bartender is a blonde woman.
   
   
2. The bouncer is a blonde woman.
   
   
3. The woman on your left is blonde and a professional wrestler.
   
   
4. I'm a six foot tall blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
   
   
5. The woman next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

Do you still want to tell that joke?"

"Nah," says the man. "Not if I'm gonna have to explain it FIVE times."

Cell Phone

One day a blonde decided to get a cell phone. After talking with the salesman, she finally selected a model and signed up for the service.

Over the next few days she called her friends and gave them her new number.

A few days later while shopping, her phone rang for the first time.

Surprised, she answered it. It was her best friend. Completely dumbfounded, she asked in amazement, "How did you know where to call me?"

Shopping for Alligator Boots

A blonde was on vacation in Florida trying to find a pair of alligator boots to give her best friend back home. She had heard her best friend talking about them, and knew she really wanted a pair.

Finally finding a pair she thought her friend would like, she was upset when she got to the checkout and discovered she did not have enough money to buy them.

Being resourceful, she decided she wouldn't give up and had an idea of how she could get some alligator boots for her friend.

Three hours later she had to admit defeat, however, as the fourth alligator she found and shot dead had already lost his alligator boots, too.

Football Game

A guy met this nice blonde girl and decided to ask her on a date. She said, “Yes,” so he took her to a football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

“It was OK,” she said. “but there’s one thing I don’t understand. When they started the game, they flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. But then, for the rest of the game, everybody around us was shouting, “Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back! I mean, it’s just a quarter.”

Caught In a Blizzard

As Lena (a blonde) was getting off work one day in the middle of winter, it was snowing heavily. Visibility was near zero. Lena finally found her car, but wondered how she was ever going to get home. She started the car to warm it up and tried to think of what to do. Then she remembered her husband, Olaf's, advice. He had told her that if she were ever caught in a snow storm, she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she'd never get stuck in a snow drift.

So she waited and sure enough, a little while later a snow plow went by. Smiling, she began to follow it. Feeling a little smug, she couldn't wait to tell Olaf how she had followed his advice and got home without getting stuck.

After following the snow plow for quite a while, the plow stopped and the driver got out. He walked back to Lena's car and asked if she was all right? He was concerned because she had been following him for a long time.

"Sure," said Lena and she explained how Olaf had told her that if she ever got caught in a blizzard, she should follow a snow plow.

A little confused, the driver said, "OK you can follow me if you want to. But I'm finished with the Kmart parking lot and I'm headed for Wall-Mart next."

A Blonde Goes Shopping

While wandering through a clothes store in a shopping mall, a blonde suddenly remembers she needs a microwave. Seeing one in the back, she tells the clerk she wants to buy it. The clerk looks up, and glances at the microwave in question and says, "We can't sell that to blondes."

Irate at the apparent discrimination she decides she'll fool him, and goes home and dyes her hair to become a brunette. The next day she returns to the same store and again asks a different clerk for the microwave. Again the clerk says, "We can't sell that to a blonde impersonating a brunette."

Aghast, she thinks it's unfair discrimination and decides to try one more time, only this time as a red-head. She waits patiently outside the store until another clerk is available and once more asks to buy the microwave. Again she is disappointed to hear, "We can't sell that to a blonde impersonating a red-head."

Frustrated she asks, "How did you know I was a blonde?"

"Because, that's not a microwave, it's a TV."

A Test

A blonde was suspected of cheating on her 8th grade final exams. The teacher brought her to the front of the room and told to sit and stay quiet while he proceeded to mangle her test.

As he did this, the blonde started to laugh.

Getting even more furious, he threw the test on the ground and stomped up and down on it leaving foot prints on several ripped pages.

The blonde laughed even louder.

He was livid, finally taking her test and shredding it.

Now, the blonde was laughing uproariously.

The teacher, somewhat more calm but still red looked over and asked, "What's so funny?"

"While you weren't looking, I stood up three times."

Being a Bit Dents

A blonde took her car to the body shop after a large hailstorm had left her car badly dented. The busy owner didn't have time to work on her car at the moment, so he thought he would try and see if blondes really were as dumb as these jokes indicate.

"Oh, those dents are pretty small, you can get those dent out yourself by just blowing hard into the tailpipe." he said.

After going home and trying for an hour, she called over her best blonde friend Betty to see if Betty had any ideas.

After hearing about what she was doing she said "That'll never work, you need to close the windows first.

Hot and Cold

A blonde was shopping when she found a really striking stainless steel thermos. Fascinated, she picked it up examined it, and finally asked the clerk what it was.

"It's a thermos." he said. "It keeps some things hot, and other things cold."

That was all she needed to hear, and she bought the thermos.

The next day, her boss saw the thermos on her desk, as it really was rather striking.

"What's that?" her boss asked.

"It's a thermos." she said. "It keeps some things hot, and other things cold."

"What have you got in it?" her boss queried after a moment.

She happily answered, "I have hot coffee in it for a little later this morning, and really cold iced tea for this afternoon."

Non-Stop Flight

On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for.   The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."

After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot.   The co-pilot said, "Let me try." He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class.

But the blonde only replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."   Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land.

"Wait a minute," said the pilot. "Did you say she's blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde." So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear.

"I'm sorry," said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class.

"What did you say to her?" ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot.

To which the pilot replied, "I just told her that first class isn't going to Chicago."

source : http://www.jokesblonde.com/More/

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Top 10 Dumb Blonde Jokes in the world

Top 10 Dumb Blonde Jokes in the world you will laughing to death

laughing , fun , funny , how to laughing , 2011 , 2012

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

Second Blonde:

Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

1. Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
   Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!
   

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go sit in the corner dumbass

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